How we misuse the word 'vagina'
Anna Sauber Kuntz
Issue date: 3/1/07 Section: Opinions
I went to give blood about two weeks ago, and as I'm sure many of you know, they have you read an information packet ahead of time so you know what things disqualify you, and what the different questions mean. Because they ask you if you've had sexual contact with people who have lived in X, done Y or slept with Z, the papers they give you to read define sexual contact.
Apparently, oral sex is defined as someone's mouth on someone else's penis, vagina or anus. Oh, okay. So if someone's tongue is licking someone else's clitoris, that's not oral sex. Unfortunate teenage girls caught with their boyfriends' heads between their legs should remember this. "But Mom, it wasn't oral sex! Johnny's tongue wasn't in my vagina! Ask the American Red Cross!" First Bill Clinton claimed oral sex wasn't sex, now the Red Cross has apparently decided that the definition of oral sex does not include … oral sex. Either that, or the dreaded "whatever is between a woman's legs is called the vagina" syndrome strikes again.
I have no idea why even professional health organizations are so incredibly dumb that they don't know that "vagina" is not a catch-all term for female genitalia. This is one of my huge annoyances, more irritating than when people put an apostrophe in Howards End, and equally as irritating as when people use the term "Immaculate Conception" to refer to the conception of Jesus when the Immaculate Conception is in fact the Catholic doctrine that the Virgin Mary was conceived without original sin. (While we're on the topic of my annoyances: the phrase "the love that dare not speak its name" was written by Lord Alfred Douglas and not Oscar Wilde.)
My favorite misuse of "vagina" occurred maybe five or six years ago, when the creators of some reality TV show were being criticized because a male cast member peed on camera. In their statement that no further urination or genitalia of any kind would be shown on the show, the producers said - and here I paraphrase, but I'm pretty close - "We will not show a vagina with pee coming out of it."
Apparently, oral sex is defined as someone's mouth on someone else's penis, vagina or anus. Oh, okay. So if someone's tongue is licking someone else's clitoris, that's not oral sex. Unfortunate teenage girls caught with their boyfriends' heads between their legs should remember this. "But Mom, it wasn't oral sex! Johnny's tongue wasn't in my vagina! Ask the American Red Cross!" First Bill Clinton claimed oral sex wasn't sex, now the Red Cross has apparently decided that the definition of oral sex does not include … oral sex. Either that, or the dreaded "whatever is between a woman's legs is called the vagina" syndrome strikes again.
I have no idea why even professional health organizations are so incredibly dumb that they don't know that "vagina" is not a catch-all term for female genitalia. This is one of my huge annoyances, more irritating than when people put an apostrophe in Howards End, and equally as irritating as when people use the term "Immaculate Conception" to refer to the conception of Jesus when the Immaculate Conception is in fact the Catholic doctrine that the Virgin Mary was conceived without original sin. (While we're on the topic of my annoyances: the phrase "the love that dare not speak its name" was written by Lord Alfred Douglas and not Oscar Wilde.)
My favorite misuse of "vagina" occurred maybe five or six years ago, when the creators of some reality TV show were being criticized because a male cast member peed on camera. In their statement that no further urination or genitalia of any kind would be shown on the show, the producers said - and here I paraphrase, but I'm pretty close - "We will not show a vagina with pee coming out of it."
Viewing Comments 1 - 7 of 7
Santa's little helper
posted 3/01/07 @ 6:07 PM EST
I found it difficult to get through this article without feeling a paletable air of anger,sarcasm,and an elitist attitude on the part of the writer.
nowimlost
posted 3/01/07 @ 9:29 PM EST
Geez, lady relax! People say 'vagina' cause it easy. People use 'penis' in the same way, where do guys pee from? The penis is the easy response yet is just as wrong as saying women pee from their vagina. (Continued…)
panistapsa
Pam
posted 3/01/07 @ 10:09 PM EST
Dang, everything I type sound dirty.
Thanks for typing those little known (or uttered) words on the internet.
Curious
posted 3/01/07 @ 11:06 PM EST
Howzabout we use "cunt" instead?
Dr. G
posted 3/02/07 @ 4:38 PM EST
Having worked with woman's sexuality for over 50 years, I found Ms. Kuntz'z remarks precisely on target and long overdue. It's amazing how little women know of their genital anatomy and how much less men understand. (Continued…)
Gman
posted 3/06/07 @ 3:06 PM EST
Imagine if we were all in the UK right now. Your fanny would be your venus mound and the bits I use to screw in a screw would be dangling from between my legs. (Continued…)
Warren
posted 2/07/08 @ 8:52 PM EST
Surely words mean what you want them to mean? If people understand vagina as vulva then thats fine. The vulva monologues anyone? words are constantly evolving. (Continued…)
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