The Boob Tube: What's new at 'Melrose Place'?
Emily Pollock
Issue date: 11/12/09 Section: Arts
Like I said, it was not that bad at the beginning. It was meant to be a remake of the original Melrose Place in the same vein as the 90210 remake that the CW has undertaken. The new series includes an entirely new cast with cameos and plotlines featuring the original show's actors.
The first episode opened with the death of one of these returning characters, Sydney. She is - whoops, was - the landlord of the Melrose Place apartment complex, and the new cast members - her residents - automatically became suspects.
I never saw the original series. But, considering that the CW's ideal demographic is between 18- and 49-year-olds, I'm guessing that a lot of people watching the show have not either. Except maybe the back end with the 49-year-olds. I don't know, maybe they are old enough; this is not a math column. Figure it out yourself.
It was nice that I did not need to know anything about the old show or characters. The first episode was pretty gripping, introducing the different new Melrose Place residents as individual characters as well as murder suspects.
Ella is a super-driven, multi-tasking publicist who had a personal spat with Sydney. David is a rich kid who steals things from other rich people because he has some daddy issues he needs to work out. David also slept with Sydney, even though she used to sleep with his dad, too. I'm sure that went a long way in clearing up those pesky issues.
Auggie is a talented, but underrated chef who also slept with Sydney, I think. Or maybe he just really liked her. But, since it's a CW show, I'm going to go with slept with. And jealousy over her sexytime with David? Definite motive.
Riley and Jonah are the cute engaged couple. They experience relationship problems so that viewers will not hate them for their adorableness. Luckily, there are some pretty big issues there. Jonah is an aspiring film director - a.k.a. he's broke - which means that Riley, a fifth-grade teacher, is the primary breadwinner. Beats me how they afford to live in L.A. But, Riley and Auggie? Totally attracted to each other. Ruh-roh.
The first episode opened with the death of one of these returning characters, Sydney. She is - whoops, was - the landlord of the Melrose Place apartment complex, and the new cast members - her residents - automatically became suspects.
I never saw the original series. But, considering that the CW's ideal demographic is between 18- and 49-year-olds, I'm guessing that a lot of people watching the show have not either. Except maybe the back end with the 49-year-olds. I don't know, maybe they are old enough; this is not a math column. Figure it out yourself.
It was nice that I did not need to know anything about the old show or characters. The first episode was pretty gripping, introducing the different new Melrose Place residents as individual characters as well as murder suspects.
Ella is a super-driven, multi-tasking publicist who had a personal spat with Sydney. David is a rich kid who steals things from other rich people because he has some daddy issues he needs to work out. David also slept with Sydney, even though she used to sleep with his dad, too. I'm sure that went a long way in clearing up those pesky issues.
Auggie is a talented, but underrated chef who also slept with Sydney, I think. Or maybe he just really liked her. But, since it's a CW show, I'm going to go with slept with. And jealousy over her sexytime with David? Definite motive.
Riley and Jonah are the cute engaged couple. They experience relationship problems so that viewers will not hate them for their adorableness. Luckily, there are some pretty big issues there. Jonah is an aspiring film director - a.k.a. he's broke - which means that Riley, a fifth-grade teacher, is the primary breadwinner. Beats me how they afford to live in L.A. But, Riley and Auggie? Totally attracted to each other. Ruh-roh.
Viewing Comments 1 - 10 of 11
Landy
posted 11/12/09 @ 11:32 AM EST
Emily, I'm not sure what qualifies you to be an official tv critic, but if you would do your homework before writing these types of articles (which try to discourage viewers from watching the shows that you do not like), you would know that the original Melrose Place also started out slow and somewhat boring. (Continued…)
Sid
posted 11/12/09 @ 12:21 PM EST
Thank you Landy!! Obviously these idiots with no lives live only to destroy great televisoin. instead of slamming melrose place....why dont you go slam your head against a wall you no life fool!!!!!!
Kiki
Kiki
posted 11/12/09 @ 1:55 PM EST
First of all, Pollock is writing from the perspective of a cultural observer. A YOUNG observer at that. One who comes to the conclusions she does based on her experience as a member of the target audience for this, and other similar, television shows. (Continued…)
Kiki
Paula
posted 11/12/09 @ 2:04 PM EST
This column is hilarious,can't wait for the next one. Are the first two people even Smith students? It's great that the Sophian reaches a larger audience, but if not, what the hell guys? Sid needs anger management. (Continued…)
Veronica
posted 11/12/09 @ 2:05 PM EST
All I have to say is negative attitudes bring on negative experiences. Research 'negativistic personality'. If you go into any experience with a negative outlook, it's going to turn out negative no matter what. (Continued…)
James
posted 11/12/09 @ 2:38 PM EST
On the contrary, I think that Emily provides an insightful and humorous look into the world of Melrose Place. I think that some bitches should do their own research before criticizing a section entitled "Boob Tube" (hint: it's supposed to be funny). (Continued…)
Veronica
posted 11/12/09 @ 5:05 PM EST
Dear Ms. Pollock,
I understand you felt offended when Landy was criticizing you (I was not criticizing you, I was talking about bloggers, this is a college newspaper, completely different), but I can't believe you accepted James' rebuttal and allowed a comment that refers to us women as bitches. (Continued…)
Veronica
posted 11/12/09 @ 5:12 PM EST
And how ironic that James is trying to say to not take it so seriously and not overanalyze the situation, and yet he is doing so himself with his argument about bisexuality and how it's reflected in the show. (Continued…)
Veronica
posted 11/12/09 @ 5:59 PM EST
I'd also like to add that as I actually am a bisexual person, I like the way the Ella character is portrayed. I don't know where you all have been, but sexuality has been overdramatized enough, television has a tendency to have a gay or lesbian or bisexual character, and their only description is their sexuality and everything their character deals with only has to do with issues of sexuality, other characters have lives that focus on their jobs, their friendships, when the token gay/bisexual character is there, their storyline OVER focuses on sexuality, there are no deeper layers. (Continued…)
Emily
posted 11/13/09 @ 10:10 AM EST
hi Veronica--just wanted to say I have no control over what comments get posted or who says what. There is a master server to approve comments, but they do not go to me in any way and I just looked at the Sophian Website this minute to see what people were saying. (Continued…)
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