Dis/Ability: The truth behind "the 'r' word"
Julia Bascom
Issue date: 3/4/10 Section: Opinions
This was not the column I planned to write. This was not a column I particularly wanted to write. This was a column I struggled to write, and turned in way past the deadline because it's an awfully hard thing to write about. But here's the thing:
Words mean things.
And we seem to have forgotten this. Smith is usually great about remembering it; unlike my high school, Smith has expunged most racial and homophobic epithets from our discourse. But one remains:
Retard.
I hear it every day. People toss it off, as if unaware that it will inevitably find someone to hit. Because "retarded" isn't used to mean slow. It isn't used to mean low IQ. It is used to mean inferior. It is used to say that all of us who don't measure up should be written off.
Hey, interesting fact: depending on what IQ test you give me, I score retarded. On others I score genius, which is the way Autistic intelligence tends to work. I don't say "retarded" even though, as someone with a cognitive disability, I "own" it, because it originated as a label for "defectives" and has been used that way ever since. It's exactly like the "n word" - I can't even use that word in this column, but I've said "retard[ed]" four times so far. It's an incredible double standard. The two words share the same history: a label originates to mark the "defectives" as separate from us, and over time it becomes an easy label, a synonym for stupid and undesirable and laughable. It's a slur.
A slur is a word hurled at you with great force. Sometimes it isn't even thrown at you, but invariably it hits you anyway. "Retarded" is thrown around among all sorts of people, and it inevitably winds up hitting someone like me. I started counting how many times I heard it in a day, and had to give up and go throw up.
Why does it bother me? Why can't I just buck up and not care, treat it like every other vaguely ableist word I hear? Why do I care if I'm not intellectually disabled myself? Isn't the whole point of insults to be, well, insulting?
Words mean things.
And we seem to have forgotten this. Smith is usually great about remembering it; unlike my high school, Smith has expunged most racial and homophobic epithets from our discourse. But one remains:
Retard.
I hear it every day. People toss it off, as if unaware that it will inevitably find someone to hit. Because "retarded" isn't used to mean slow. It isn't used to mean low IQ. It is used to mean inferior. It is used to say that all of us who don't measure up should be written off.
Hey, interesting fact: depending on what IQ test you give me, I score retarded. On others I score genius, which is the way Autistic intelligence tends to work. I don't say "retarded" even though, as someone with a cognitive disability, I "own" it, because it originated as a label for "defectives" and has been used that way ever since. It's exactly like the "n word" - I can't even use that word in this column, but I've said "retard[ed]" four times so far. It's an incredible double standard. The two words share the same history: a label originates to mark the "defectives" as separate from us, and over time it becomes an easy label, a synonym for stupid and undesirable and laughable. It's a slur.
A slur is a word hurled at you with great force. Sometimes it isn't even thrown at you, but invariably it hits you anyway. "Retarded" is thrown around among all sorts of people, and it inevitably winds up hitting someone like me. I started counting how many times I heard it in a day, and had to give up and go throw up.
Why does it bother me? Why can't I just buck up and not care, treat it like every other vaguely ableist word I hear? Why do I care if I'm not intellectually disabled myself? Isn't the whole point of insults to be, well, insulting?
Viewing Comments 1 - 7 of 8
Charlie Rose
posted 3/04/10 @ 9:32 AM EST
I love your column!
Carolyn Barthel, MSW
posted 3/04/10 @ 11:56 PM EST
Well said. Thank you for putting the issue of disabilities on the radar.
CarolynB
CarolynB
posted 3/05/10 @ 12:05 AM EST
Well said. Thank you for putting the issue of disabilities on the map.
Kathy Morris
posted 3/06/10 @ 2:12 PM EST
As a person who is labeled with a defect called "mental illness", I am regretful that through out my life, I have allowed the judgement of others to influence my self-worth. (Continued…)
Monica
posted 3/10/10 @ 12:55 AM EST
Thank you so much for writing this article. I've found that the majority of time when someone actually speaks up and interrupts to say, "Hey, you don't actually mean 'retarded,' no need to use it to be derogatory," then the offender agrees. (Continued…)
Karen
posted 3/11/10 @ 8:32 AM EST
I make a special effort to read your column every week. Thank you!
Beth
posted 3/16/10 @ 1:50 AM EST
thanks for making this issue aware. the use the word often and never thought twice about it. I know understand that you know what, its really not ok.
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